When a narcissist is denied food he seeks elsewhere to eat

After my husbands motion for a change in custody based by the judge he stormed out of the courtroom.  Just a few short days later my attorney called me to tell me we had another court date. What now I asked. My attorney proceeded to tell me that my husband fired his attorney and hired new counsel. WHAT!!! Are you kidding me what does this mean?  My attorney said court was set for next week for subsititution of attorney. I knew that process all too well it’s long and getting your file is a tangled mess. Fast forward to court date for substitution of attorney change and low and behold he hired the firm I had a consultation with but didn’t hire. This fact was raised to the judge and his attorneys refused to withdraw. So then the judge recuses herself. Why you ask? Because she used to work as an attorney in the law firm that my husband had hired. Conflict of interest –  so back into the pool of being reassigned to another judge. The narcissist knew how to work the system he didn’t like the judges devidion so he found a way to get rid of her. Right at the point the judge was on to his games.

We were  assigned to a new judge who happened to be a male. I motioned up for a GAL which I was denied. We both presented motions with new judge (Judge #2) upon our first appearance before him. I presented for a second custody evaluation (604.5) and my husband presented a motion for a mental examination on me (215) I was beyond livid – really what’s his game , why is he putting our children through unnecessary trauma? I’ll never know the answer to those questions. Both motions were approved right after Christmas of that year.

In addition,  I asked my attorneys to subpoena a few things that my husband refused to turn over one of them being our cell phone records (call and text history). As I didn’t have access to the account never even saw a statement the entire time we were married. Everything was password and pin protected (red flag)   But I trusted him – famous last words. Low and behold my attorney calls to tell me my husband has filed an emergency motion to quash the subpoenas to the cell phone company! I said “What, you are kidding right!” He has all my cell records it’s discovery – what’s he hiding.

We appear in court for the emergency motion and his attorney fought like hell to quash the subpoenas even went so far to limit the scope between his cell number and my cell number. The judge said ” I don’t see the problem, you got hers!” Motion to quash the subpoena denied. Now my gut instincts were proving me right.

Fast forward a month later when his cell call and text history came in. A friend helped me transfer the data to excel format (I’m computer illiterate) and low and behold my gut instincts were right.  We sorted the spreadsheet by texts and calls then further sorted by date and numbers he called and texted the most. Another friend intervened to help assist with matching numbers to names. 

The results – he joined tinder before he leaving the marital home and prior to filing of divorce. Leaving a slew of women along the way who all happened to be attorneys, therapists, worked in legal/family court system and teachers. The most interesting of the results was over 5000 texts and out of control phone calls to a female. That female turned out to be the “suspicious lady”that was in court staring at me and my friends. “Suspicious lady” was a divorced female that worked as an attorney in his current law firm. Holy shit!!! What was he doing he’s been sleeping with a slew of woman (more than I care to count) using them for knowledge he could use in court system now this! How low ~ can someone go? I’m thinking  he really is a sick person to use people for his personal gain. A narcissist does that they use charm, manipulation to gain information they need and when they are done they throw them aside like a piece of used garbage. 

So now reality has set in – I googled the attorney in his firm and sent her picture to my friends who were with me in court that day for motion to change custody. I said do you recognize this person? Is this “suspicious lady” they  replied “yes, that’s her”. Mind blowing – song “let it go” ringing in my head – but I press on for more answers. So my daughter strolls into the office and saw the picture of “suspicious lady” on the computer. She points and said “do you know her – I said no, do you?” Yes my daughter replied she’s tucked me in at night, we’ve been to her house and we  played with her kids while her and daddy snuggled on the couch and talked fancy”. I said is this person you’ve been talking about (back up to 8 months prior and my daughter came home extremely upset about a female being at daddy’s and tucking her in). Now I’m just furious with all of this – how dare he expose our innocent children to this when they haven’t even begun to process the two different households. 

So it all unfolds looking deeper at text and call logs they are in constant contact on every drop off and pick up right firm to last second in fact he’s in car texting her instead of coming to get children or help them to and from door, day before, day of and day after every court appearance same with his custody evaluation appointments with Dr. E.   – which explains his very organized presentation of material to Dr. E. (he’s not organized by any means), explains the motion for curbside drop off and pick up for no reason other than staging his case. It explains how he got rid of judge bc by hiring her firm it required our judge to recuse herself. 

Then when she didn’t fill his quest for food he went on to his next victim. The predator looking for his new prey. To all the countless woman he victimized – I can only hope you learned a valuable lesson.

 

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