Backing up a bit as you know I’ve stated that my husband is controlling and manipulative. He is in a true sense a narcissist (some narcissist personality is healthy his is NOT). It was a cold winter day In December of the first year of the filing of the divorce by the narcissist. We had a fairly warm fall clear up till end of November.
In December of the first filing year (he filed in Jan so 11 months later). We finally get a spout of cold weather – cold enough to turn the heat on. The weather that day was about 35 degrees when I turned on the heat. By that night it wasn’t getting any warmer in house and nighttime outside temp was hovering around 20 degrees. The next morning it was so cold in the house the kids teeth were chattering, they were crying and complaining of being cold. I checked the thermostat, the circuit breaker and lastly the two units. Everything was on – I called a repair man who came out on the same day (Friday) and looked at units. The result was that the two units were labeled (done by builder) incorrectly #1 was actually #2, and #2 was actually number #1. The motor had went out in the unit that controls the 2nd floor. Approx $1000.00 to replace the motor. Yikes!!! Where am I going to get that kind of cash? The kids and I are barely surviving and my parents were supplementing for food and basic necessities. The repairman said to close off all the doors to upstairs and shut the vents and use only the master bedroom. He also told me to run the gas fireplace on high for 3 hours so heat could rise. However, the gas fireplace had to be turned off for 4 hours in between runs to heat the upstairs. Note/ I couldn’t use either unit because the other one that was working would overcompensate therefore I’d risk burning that motor out.
I send the narcissist an email letting him know the problem and how it had to be fixed along with the repairmans name and number. The husband respond to my email ” run the dull furnaces like they are supposed to be run and stop sabotaging the house” WHAT!!! Seriously – it’s cold outside and inside this house. No response about the kids, could he put us up in hotel, didn’t even offer to take the kids so they didn’t have to endure the cold house. Fine I’ll continue to do what the repairman said I get up during night to run fireplace then shutting it off and so on to keep temperature somewhat manageable and tolerable as it was obvious he was not going to help (despite a court order requiring him to pay/take care of maintenance of marital home)
On Sunday night I emailed my attorney and informed him of situation and my attempts to resolve with my husband. We had to file an emergency motion to get him to fix the motor on the furnace leaving us (kids and I ) without heat for a week. Of course he waited till 2:00pm on a Friday afternoon to pay to have the motor replaced.
I’ll repeat he’s controlling. Manipulative and punitive because he was forced to do something he didn’t want to do. Mind you again, not once during the 7 day span did he offer to take the children so they didn’t have to endure the cold house – yet he’s fighting me for full custody when I wanted 50/50 custody. He was more concerned about controlling the issue and penalizing me through the children in the process. He has no desire to take these kids full time – it’s all about money to him. He even wrote a schedule down to count the days and overnights to reduce /eliminate child support payments.